Mother of many children, poetess Vera Polozkova was surprised to learn that she had postpartum depression after the birth of her second son. Doctors told her about it. Vera did not believe it, because she was accustomed, in her own words, to plow for years and not notice the bicycle burning under her. Now the poetess has three children – she brings them up alone. In an interview, the girl spoke about her expenses: she rents a three-room apartment in a good area and hired a nanny – her minimum monthly expenses are 150 thousand rubles. Polozkova cannot afford to rest, therefore she constantly tours and uses every opportunity to earn money. And the lack of proper rest for a young mother often ends with a depressive disorder. The poetess had to treat him with medication.
“I was told that I most likely have postpartum depression, which would be good to treat with medication. I was so surprised – do I have depression? Well, that is, of course, I, as in that joke, ride a bicycle that is on fire, and everything is on fire, and I’m in hell, but it’s always like that, no? … It’s funny, I felt better just when they told me what was wrong with me. I stopped trying to change everything around, win, control and began to ask myself what would heal me. I bought tickets, packed my youngest and flew to the safest place in the world for myself. No need to try to lose 40 kg, conceive a child, write a PhD, if you don’t remember the last time you got enough sleep and cried. Get some sleep. Cry. Do not betray yourself like this, and everything will come – without pressure, by itself, ”Vera shared with her followers.
Very plausibly, the typical state of a mother who had just given birth was described by Daria Melnikova. The actress gave birth to two sons with a difference of three years. Depression covered her after the birth of the eldest. After the birth of the younger Daria, on the contrary, she discovered all the charms of motherhood.
“It seems to me that I became a mother and felt the high of motherhood only when my second child was born, to be honest. It’s like going back to school, apparently. For the first time, I experienced unrelenting terror. In the first year of my first child’s life, I just fell into a slump. I’m 23, I’m standing at the window, I see how a person leaves the parking lot in a car to work, and I sob. Because I can’t do it. I can’t take the keys to the car, get in it and drive. For me it was some kind of unattainable dream. I understood that I was handcuffed to the baby that I was afraid of. I’m in pain, it’s hard. Chest hurts. The body has changed. There is no favorite work now. There is no usual life. There is such a strange mixture of emotions. Very hard. Depression, hormones, who the hell knows what!”, — said the actress in an interview.
In order not to get bogged down in self-blame, Melnikova created a community for young mothers on her Instagram account, where they can get advice from a specialist and express their concerns in a post. The blog is popular, the artist herself also periodically writes notes in which she shares her personal experience.
Sometimes it seems that postpartum depression cannot affect those who are fully financially secure and have help in the form of a nanny or relatives. But the experience of Nadezhda Mikhalkova proves that this is not so. The actress frankly shared that after the birth of her eldest daughter Nina, she thought about how not to accidentally let the stroller with the girl into the pond around which they walked … During the period of postpartum depression, such thoughts are not uncommon. Alas, we are increasingly reading news about women who have harmed their own child. They are immediately condemned, without thinking about whether the young mother was at that moment in an acute stage of depression. Mikhalkova shared her unhappy thoughts with her sister Anna – she always found the right words of support. And Mikhalkov Jr. was saved from depression in the end by work – soon the girl made her debut as a director.
“When I was in Moscow, I drove a stroller around the pond and thought: “What if I let her go there?”. And I didn’t want it, it was just a thought for a split second. Then I thought: “Damn, these are abnormal thoughts.” I called Anya and said that something was wrong with me. She told me that it was depression, it happens. And she added that I am not obliged to love the child, while he still does not smile at me, he wants something all the time, he changed your life, you have extra pounds from him, one big discomfort so far. It will pass.”
During communication, the actress gives the impression of a positive person, whose glass is always half full. So it is, only Agatha, the mother of two children, was not spared by postpartum depression. The girl found out about her after the birth of her eldest son Timothy. She found herself without her favorite job, with extra pounds stuck to her hips and mood swings. The young mother allowed herself to sob only in the shower, and the rest of the time she tried to play the role of a happy mother in a beautiful bathrobe.
“There was not a single book about what will happen to you after you give birth. How are you going to pick up the pieces. How you will not have a single second more to spend with yourself, although you lived like this before 24 years. No, every hour you need to serve a small body, ”she said in an episode of her own MamBook show.
Separately, Agatha mentioned that the already ex-husband Pavel Priluchny did not help her – he simply disappeared on the set. The story is typical: a man is far from always able to understand the throwing of a woman who has just given birth, because from childhood we are brought up in a paradigm where motherhood for a woman is exclusively happiness and harmony. It’s only recently that postpartum depression has been talked about in full force.
Signs to watch out for
Experts remind that the diagnosis can manifest itself literally a month after childbirth or later – after 7-8 months. Should be alert:
insomnia or chronic lack of sleep;
apathy, fatigue in the morning;
anxiety, feeling of hopelessness;
aggressiveness towards the baby;
Having fixed the listed signs in yourself, it is worth at least checking the hormonal background with an endocrinologist, and based on the results, together with a specialist, draw conclusions and prescribe therapy.
Photo: Globallook / Instagram
Subscribe to Goodshapetips