Tasty is a reward for suffering, a consolation in sadness, a bargaining chip in manipulation, and often the only joy. “Do your homework – you get candy.” They played these games with us when we were little, now we play these same games with ourselves.
I love to eat. Let’s take macaroni and cheese. If it’s beautiful, then, of course, al dente pasta, tomato sauce with garlic and shrimp, Parmesan cheese on top. And it happens that the soul is so insulting and cold that it’s just macaroni and cheese. And mayonnaise. Knead and suck while no one sees. Itself as if bifurcated: one eats, the second looks and dies of shame and horror.
You want to stop, but how? “Relieve stress, meditate, go for a massage, enjoy every day,” it seemed to me that they were mocking me, I felt like a worthless loser who couldn’t eliminate and enjoy. My health was deteriorating, I was tired of myself.
Once I was lucky, and on a bright frosty morning I brought my suffering to the endocrinologist, who looked at me as a whole, and not individually.
First of all, I passed a bunch of tests, they found a severe deficiency of iron, vitamin D, B vitamins and an off-scale level of cortisol, the stress hormone. It became clear why I can hardly move my legs, I constantly want to sleep and something sweet, starchy foods or strangle myself. I was prescribed all the missing vitamins and supplements. An unexpected and interesting finding was complete lactose and gluten intolerance. Now I had an explanation for my stomach problems and perhaps even my asthma. Gluten and lactose were ordered to be excluded.
Breakfast is an important start
I was told to radically change breakfast. All my life I thought that oatmeal with honey and dried fruits is a great healthy breakfast. It turned out that fast carbohydrates for breakfast cause a sharp increase in blood glucose (high), and then its rapid fall. As a result, a person wants not just to eat, but to eat, preferably flour and sweet. Instead of oatmeal, I was prescribed to eat whole fatty foods, such as eggs, fish, meat, plus vegetables and greens.
The next item is sleep at 22:00. I usually went to bed after midnight, by which time there was an unnecessary release of cortisol, and in the morning it was not enough. As a result, I felt tired, drowsy, constantly wanted to drink coffee, eat sweets, went through a vicious circle of stress.
We analyze desires
An important step is a food diary. Not just write down what and when I eat, but record the emotions that accompany the desire to eat.
It turned out that hunger is only one of the reasons to eat. Other reasons from my diary:
- My boyfriend hasn’t called, it’s been two days, he doesn’t love me, I’m sad;
- I need to translate a book, it’s so big, I’m scared to even start, I’ll go eat;
- The project partner is not doing their part, I am nervous and angry because I can’t control it, a sandwich helps a lot;
- I watch a movie, I need to chew something, I always chew when I watch a movie;
- I’m cold, I need to warm up, drink tea with sweets;
- Everyone eats, I also sing for the company.
Psychologists advise you to write a list of a hundred joys that are not food, and make yourself three a day. I did not master a hundred, but twenty pieces were accumulated. That’s how I found out that TV shows help a lot from a boyfriend who didn’t call, but then to hell with sleep at 22 o’clock.
What is the result?
A significant part of the stress and poor health, which I seized with all sorts of indecency, was eliminated along with anemia and other purely physiological imbalances. Going to bed at 22 o’clock is very hard to force yourself, very. But maybe it really does work. I have a clear head, less unreasonable anxiety and the desire to “bite the nerves.” Reflection often helps. Before I start eating, I stop and think: “What do I really want to do now?” Well, no matter how trite, the feeling that you are loved, appreciated and you are doing well helps. Even if sometimes this only person who loves and appreciates you is myself.