Abstinence increases the fear of failure
“Men have more testosterone, and therefore the need for sex too. This is if we say in general terms: it is clear that there are men with a weak sexual constitution (heredity determines it by nature), and there are also women with an increased amount of testosterone. But in general, this is the situation. And let’s not forget about the prostate, which ejaculate seems to burst physically. Let me explain: there is the so-called Tarkhanov-Belov phenomenon. During abstinence, the accumulating ejaculate, requiring an exit, increases sexual desire (Tarkhanov’s phenomenon). The body can be released from the ejaculate with the help of nocturnal emissions. But older men may not have them.
The Tarkhanov phenomenon in men is balanced by the Belov phenomenon – during sexual abstinence, the tone of the testicles is suppressed and sexual fantasies, spontaneous erections become less and less common. And after a long period of abstinence, a man cannot immediately restore the usual rhythm of sexual life. With age, it becomes more and more difficult to return to a normal rhythm. That is why long-term abstinence (abstinence) in men over 50 is highly undesirable.
Another problem arises, with which patients often turn. This is a syndrome of anxious expectation of failure, when a man cannot relax at the right time and is afraid to fail in sex. The syndrome is aggravated if in the past there were caustic remarks of the partner, “misfires”. Some may complain that they have an undersized penis and have complexes about it, although the penis may be all right.
Lack of sex affects self-esteem
Women with a weak sexual constitution tolerate sexual abstinence more easily. But there are those whose cravings in the “I want a man” format are pronounced, especially when combined with alcohol.
At the same time, sex is still not the most important human need, so you can remember the saying “I want it, but I want it.” For example, the lack of sex in a man’s life at first causes aggression and nervousness – in fact, nature is so determined that in order to conquer a female, energy and healthy aggression are needed. But then the body can adapt to do without sex, especially with a weak sexual constitution. There will be less testosterone, the body will go into the so-called conservation.
What is the danger of such conditions for both sexes? In the fact that over time, desire can, in principle, disappear, a person gets used to doing without a partner, without sex. It is easier for women – they can make love using lubricants for arousal. But if a man does not have an erection, then the classic vaginal sexual intercourse with the penetration of the penis is not feasible.
In women, prolonged lack of sex can negatively affect self-esteem. She may begin to think that she is not wanted, that she is not in demand. That is, men have their fears, women have theirs.
By the way, very often, when the period of abstinence has passed, and a man begins a rich sex life, then often his career goes uphill, they are ready to move mountains. And in women, it is the psychological background that improves more, the mood rises, the eye begins to burn – sexual satisfaction in men and women leads to different results.
How to relieve sexual tension?
Through masturbation. But adaptive, as I call it. That is, it is masturbation, similar to a sexual act, a kind of rehearsal for success. But, as I said, it has its downsides. That is, on the one hand, the process contributes to orgastic discharge, improvement of mood, prevention of gynecological diseases, and on the other hand, a woman, for example, teaches her body to respond to specific stimuli (soul stream, vibration), and then it is difficult for her to get an orgasm during classical sexual intercourse. act. This is maladaptive masturbation.
Looking at porn all the time in the long run can also do more harm than good. In addition to complexes, there may be dependence on external attributes, the setting, as in a film, or satiety, and nothing excites. Not on screen, much less in real life. Why do I always say that, for example, books are better than cartoons? Because the first ones make the imagination work, anticipate, imagine! Do not get carried away with porn, look for other ways to get discharged. Turn on your imagination, train your brain.
By the way, I do not share the opinion that sport helps to get rid of sexual tension. Rather the opposite. When the body is in good shape and you are full of energy, on the contrary, a surge of desire is likely. And if we talk about professional sports, serious debilitating loads, then immediately after them problems with erection are possible.
Our expert is sure: there are different periods in life, including when there is no partner, but you definitely need to look for him. After all, it’s not just about sex, but about the need of any of us for communication, love. Emotional attachment improves the quality of life. And health too.
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