“Stop putting on a show”: why society condemns the stars, …

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Does she miss likes?

Not so long ago, the wife of Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin gave birth to her sixth child. Hilaria became pregnant six months after she had a miscarriage. The fetal heartbeat was then barely visible, the embryo was slowly developing. The doctors’ predictions were confirmed – then Hilaria survived the abortion, which she immediately told subscribers. After some time, the woman shared the already good news – she was pregnant again, everything was going according to plan.

Many of the Russian-speaking users at that moment condemned Hilaria: for some, her frankness was bewildering, someone wondered if it was harmful to get pregnant so often, if her body had time to recover.

“Why tell your subscribers such intimate details? Maybe it’s the hype and she lacks sympathetic likes? ”Many asked.

In our culture, it is really not customary to share neither grief nor joy frankly. The first is considered too personal, many in such situations ask to be left alone and show respect. And this is quite understandable. As for happiness, many will immediately remember the proverb that it loves silence …

Is six months long enough to mourn?

Suspecting PR in the era of social networks is easy. For example, model Chrissy Teigen, five months after an abortion, continues to publicly mourn the baby on her Instagram. In February, he was supposed to be born, but the model had a miscarriage due to bleeding. According to Chrissy, she did not have the courage to look at the face of a dead baby, which she deeply regrets. The model accompanied a recent post on the topic with pictures in combination with translucent breasts – in this way she starred in the video of her husband-musician, while already pregnant. In the comments, Chrissy was condemned for inappropriate photos and for the fact that, five months after the tragedy, she continues to shed tears in public.

“At first I thought that she was struggling with stress like that, looking for understanding or something … but half a year has passed … it already looks abnormal”, “Chrissy was very sorry at first, but maybe it’s enough to put on a performance six months later?”, – Russian-speaking followers ask questions.

Needless to say, Meghan Markle’s story about how she survived a miscarriage was immediately taken with hostility? The wife of Prince Harry shared the details in a column for The New York Times: hugging her son Archie, she physically felt that she was losing her second child. Not everyone at that moment showed sympathy, accusing the woman of another attempt to attract attention. Like, a family tragedy should be experienced in a narrow circle. However, in the case of the duchess, the wave of allegations of hype that fell upon her can be explained by bias – Megan broke into the royal family, having no right in the eyes of the majority (“divorced”, dark-skinned, older than the prince) and immediately began to behave not according to the protocol . An interview with TV presenter Oprah Winfrey will be released the other day – for sure, the couple will share, among other things, the details of how they suffered the loss of a child.

We don’t talk about personal things.

As for domestic celebrities, we talk about such tragedies either years later, or very succinctly, laying the message between the lines: thanks for the sympathy, but I don’t need pity. So, Alena Apina, only many years later, told the whole country about nine (!) Experienced miscarriages. After so many failures, the singer and her then-husband decided to turn to a surrogate mother, thanks to whom their daughter Ksenia was born.

Margarita Simonyan was preparing to become a mother for the fourth time, but the pregnancy was interrupted. Then the journalist asked to treat her tragedy with respect and give her the opportunity to be alone with it.

Do not rely only on your own strength

Marina Golomazdina, co-founder of the fashion brand 12storeez, was quite frank with her audience on the social network. The expectant mother showed how preparations were being made for the appearance of her son in the house, assuring that she was not going to stay on maternity leave. Unfortunately, 16 hours after birth, the baby died – Marina told about this on her Instagram, asking to leave her family alone in a difficult period and turning off comments along the way. After the experience, the girl began to share events from her life on social networks much less – according to her, now she doesn’t want to do this at all. After some time, Marina gave advice to women in a similar situation: “Do not rely only on your own strength, please. Ask for support. If possible, work with a psychologist. Read other women’s stories and share yours. It’s a long way, but we have to go further.”

Thus, in our mentality, talking about grief is still not very accepted – rather, it is done in order to put an end to the rumors behind our backs. According to experts, every woman has the right to decide how it is easier for her to experience the tragedy: alone with herself and her family or sharing it in public space.

Expert comment

According to WHO recommendations in our country, you can become pregnant six months after a miscarriage, that is, 6 months after contraception is necessary. In addition, during these 6 months, the normalization of hormonal levels, multivitamin therapy occurs.

I believe that miscarriage is often a psychological story. Accordingly, from the side of psychology, this is a trauma, and it needs to be experienced: let it be a public statement, a discussion in order to get the necessary support, and there was a release of negative emotions.

There are miscarriages in healthy women, yes. Everyone has the right to a spontaneous miscarriage if there is an abnormal development of the fetus, a breakdown at the genetic level that is not associated with the carriage of any genetic mutations in the woman and her spouse. This, for example, Down syndrome, Edwards and so on. These breakdowns happen spontaneously, so we cannot predict them. And the purity of a miscarriage with such pathologies is much higher than with a normal caryatid in a child.

In order to exclude the factors of repeated spontaneous miscarriage or non-developing pregnancy, it is necessary to be examined. The examination goes to the gene system of mutations, polymorphism in it: how much the patient has a tendency to thrombosis and, accordingly, to an undeveloped pregnancy, early heart attacks and strokes. There is also a test for APS (antiphospholipid syndrome) – this is the case when our body produces antibodies. In addition, it is necessary to examine the karyotype – this is our chromosome set. Check with the patient and her spouse if they are carriers of the same mutation, which, when the egg is fertilized, can cause genetic damage to the fetus. It is also necessary to exclude all sexually transmitted infections.

Termination of pregnancy at any time may be associated with disturbances in the hemostasis system, against the background of antiphospholipid syndrome, it may also be caused by genetic pomology of the fetus, infections, and isthmic-cervical insufficiency.

Photo: Instagram, GlobalLookPress, Pexels.com

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