When sexual tricks and candlelight dinner are useless: what to do if your spouse has lost interest in you

Health Tips

When advice from magazines doesn’t work

In case of problems with sex in a couple (a man is tired, sometimes not in the mood, sometimes he wants to, but cannot), women’s magazines offer their readers universal advice: buy a set of lacy lingerie and arrange a romantic candlelight dinner. Trite! And most importantly, it does not work, because, perhaps, we are talking about impotence as a diagnosis.

Of course, it is worth distinguishing accumulated fatigue from real and serious health problems. If one of the couple has stress due to work, children get sick, creditors overcome, that is, their head is full of anything but thoughts about sex, there is no need to talk about intimacy. And this applies to both men and women. Indeed, for a full-fledged intimacy, you need to relax, tune in to enjoyment. But if external problems are resolved, the body is physically rested, and the soul does not lie for sex (and not only she), then it makes sense to discuss a delicate topic. Our expert tells you exactly how to do it.

“If the sex life comes to naught and unobtrusive one-time attempts to get close are not successful, you should not continue, as this can cause feelings of guilt. A man, for example, may have Sexual Failure Anxiety Syndrome (STOS), and the feeling of helplessness in the face of a woman’s initiative may become unbearable. To solve the problem, you need to understand the causes. The ideal case is to seek help from a sexologist. And better as a couple. Because there can be many reasons: from psychological to hormonal. It is better to voice the need in a pair format: WE have a problem, not YOU. A man does not want to look humiliated. You can say this to your partner: “I admit that I myself am doing something wrong. But I am ready to meet halfway. It’s time to renew. Let’s try. At least go to the initial appointment, and then we’ll see.” You need to understand that this proposal should not sound in the format: “But should we go to the cinema?” If you yourself are embarrassed and misunderstood the importance of this step, then your man may continue to lead a line of avoidant behavior and refuse to accept.

Should a woman blame herself for a man’s sexual dysfunction?

“Depending on the reasons. If this is disharmony, then you can start trying with yourself. For example, everything was wonderful and regular, but after a quarrel and offensive words addressed to him, he became isolated and not only does not want closeness, but he does not talk to you at all. Of course, then it is worth starting with an emotional rapprochement. With a simple and sincere: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” But if he himself is rude, then you should not take the blame.

What about Viagra?

It seems that everyone has heard about this remedy for improving potency. But doctors do not recommend indiscriminately buying dietary supplements and other advertised products. “I absolutely do not recommend. You can die from such experiments. Or get psychologically addicted to drugs. It’s like trying to repair a car engine without having a specialty, experience, education.

When is impotence a signal of a more serious health problem?

Let’s not forget that in 80% of cases we are talking about organic (physiological) causes of impotence, and only 20% – about psychological. The first ones include:

  • Atherosclerosis of the vessels of the penis. The blood flow to the penis and scrotum decreases and its outflow increases. Doctors say that impotence can be a harbinger of a heart attack! And not necessarily in men over 50 years old. Young people also face this.

  • Increased blood sugar. Diabetes mellitus reduces the permeability of the blood vessels that supply blood to the penis of a man (therefore, an erection does not occur).

  • Hormonal imbalance.

  • Injuries and tumors of the lumbar spine (spinal impotence), pelvic organs, brain.

  • depressive disorders. A number of antidepressants inhibit potency.

The listed reasons (there may be more) signal the need to visit a doctor, who will prescribe a series of studies and tests. In this case, impotence suggests that there are already more serious health problems. Erectile dysfunction is just one of the bells and whistles. And here it is important not to self-medicate – a decoction of parsley and nuts will not help, but to consult a specialist. And often it is a loving woman who can insist on this.

Photo: vostock-photo

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